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Understanding Why The Red Hot Chili Peppers Were Added To The Bruno Mars Super Bowl Halftime Show

Initially, Super Bowl 2014 (yeah, the Roman Numerals can suck it – I’m calling the Super Bowl by year now) would feature a halftime performance by Bruno Mars, but apparently, folks complained and those involved caved to the pressure. Now, the animated corpses of The Red Hot Chili Peppers will join Bruno Mars on stage because this is big business. Let’s break it down!

The Most Watched Television Event of the Year!
If you simply say, "The Super Bowl is the most watched vent on television every year," you’re not wrong, but if you want to be technologically right, then you should say, "The Super Bowl Halftime Show is the most watched vent on television every year." You see, there are folks out there (communists, I presume) who don’t like football, but do love other forms of spectacle and entertainment, so even though they’re not watching the game, they flip over for the half time show. Again, this is big business, so having a performer who appeals to the most people is essential.

"Who’s Bruno Mars?"
I get the feeling that once the Bruno Mars announcement was made, the old and pale faction of the population began to complain they had no idea who that dude is. Apparently, I’m not that old as "Locked out of Heaven" had already gotten my attention (mostly because the verse sounds so much like a Police song, which is awesome), but I think that’s what happened. Whey else bring in early 90s All Stars The Red Hot Chili Peppers? They’ve been somewhat consistently popular for two years, so they’re just the sort of act the Super Bowl likes. And, if I may, they’re not minorities. (Yeah, I think race is playing some role here…)

And it’s going to suck anyway, just like it always does
No matter who the act is, the format of the Super Bowl Halftime Show will find a way to screw it up. They’re going to do the same thing they always do: Bruno Mars will come out and play a half assed medley of"Locked out of Heaven" and "Treasure" (which sounds like something off of Off the Wall), then, the Chilli Peppers will bust in, shouting about California, and then they’re do whatever together, making some ridiculous 90s/21st Century mess, while I laugh, safe and warm at home as they freeze in the unyielding winds of the New Jersey Meadowlands.

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About Jamie Insalaco

Jamie Insalaco is the author of CreativeJamie.com and BomberBanter.com

Posted on January 17, 2014, in NFL and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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