So there’s the good part: the Yankees beat the Twins twice in one day. The bad part: The Yankees didn’t score hardly any runs. 4 runs combined is pretty dreadful. I know the Yankees are beat up right now, but that’s no excuse with this line up.

Game 1 started Tuesday night and ended in a 0-0 tie after five innings due to rain only to resume the next afternoon with a Derek Jeter home run that ultimately won the game. A.J. Burnett looked shaky the night before, but some how, he got through it and wiggled out of trouble, Andy Pettitte style, who I think should be a Batman villain known as The Wiggler! But I’ll get back to that. I followed the afternoon conclusion on Game Day, and Mo looked pretty shaky to me. It also looked like some absurd calls went in favor of my boy, David Robertson (who Game Day neglected to mention got hit in the back – ‘injury delay’ is a waste of my time; they might as well just put ‘delay’ and not give ma heart attack!), who scooted through an extended appearance I was wagering was going to be presided over by one Sergio Mitre… show’s what I know. Bottom line: the Yankees didn’t score any runs.

So imagine my surprise when later that evening, the Yankees left a zillion runners on base. Here are my favorite highlights from the box score:

Runners left in scoring position, 2 out – D Jeter 1, A Rodriguez 1, R Cano 1, B Gardner 2.

Team LOB – 9.

2-out RBI – N Swisher, K Russo, B Gardner.

10 hits, 3 runs.

So there it is: 9 runners left on base. That’s just awesome, guys. And check out the big bats not getting it done AGAIN. Jeter, ARod and Cano all missing out on RBI chances, not to mention the non existent Mark Teixeira, who is positively killing my fantasy team. I know they won both games, but the team is really in an offensive swoon that needs to come to an end.

Enough complaining; it’s time to reward the Constant Wiggler award to Mr. Andy Pettitte, who went 8 innings strong and gave up only 2 runs and wiggled out of an intense 8th inning jam of 1st and 3rd with nobody out. The momentum shifted after he made the impossible happen and set the stage for Nick Swisher‘s home run, which you could just smell coming, and Mo came on in the 9th for his second save of the during which he looked much sharper than he had in the afternoon. I do feel that Mo’s lack of innings in, well, the entire season, is the reason behind his recent ineffectiveness. Still, as the season goes on, he’ll start getting consistent work and I believe we’ll get the same old Mo all year long. I’d like a 2 or 3 foot tall marble Mariano Rivera statue for my veggie garden… can anybody hook me up?

Noteworthy: Ozzie Guillen did battle with Joe West – I love it when two guys I don’t like get into it. No matter what, I win. But really, while Guillen is a knucklehead, it’s time for Cowboy Joe to retire. He’s never going to change and he’s only getting worse as time goes on – or rather, getting better at getting media coverage. That guy needs to learn that umpires are scenery and should not be heard from. Somebody buy that guy a condo in Miami already!