As a Yankee fan, can you think of a subject that interests you less than Roger Clemens? Nothing springs to mind. During his stint from 1999 to 2003, he did a lot of good things on the mound for the Yankees (and at least one bad one) and after he fake retired… I didn’t think much about him after that. Then during his World Series with appearance with the Astros, I actively routed against him. When I think back on the whole Roger Clemens experience, it ended (for me) the way it began: I didn’t want him. I didn’t care if he was coming from the Blue Jays; he was a Red Sox. Sock. Whatever. For like 12 seasons. I was wrong about that, because the Yankees won 2 world series with Clemens and went to two others, but I still didn’t want him back in ’99, and I never warmed up to him. But it was fun to watch him pitch when he was on his game: Clemens would get ahead in the count and then out would come the splitter, and it felt like it was strike three every time. He had good numbers in 2003, but if he wanted to go out on top with his body still relatively in tact, that was his business. When the Yankees needed a starter in 2007, Clemens answered the call and managed to go 6-6 in 99 IP to a 4.18 ERA – not exactly an ace, but more than serviceable. Maybe not for the obscene amount of money he made, but whatever.
I don’t care about steroids, and I certainly don’t care about Clemens being indited for lying to Congress. If he did lie to Congress, he’s nuts. I’d assume someone advised him that there was no proof and if he was indited, he’d get off, so, as Dave Chappelle recommends, stick with your lie.
But I just don’t care. Does anybody? I think we’re all pretty burned out on the steroid issue and that dog and pony show Congressional Hearings was an embarrassment to the United States of America, because any governing body that takes time out of their day to work on something like that in the times we live in… I still can’t believe that really happened. Think about that. Roger Clemens testified before Congress. How bizarre is that?
If Clemens is found guilty, super – they can lock him up and throw away the key for all I care. If he’s found innocent, great – he should write a book. Maybe call it, “No, seriously, I never did steroids,” or “I’d like to tell you,” or “That’s a B12 shot, right?” I know that reporters, like me, have a job to do and a boss to answer to, but please find something else to write about. You’re boring me to death.