Michael Kay, Captain Obvious

michael-kayAs of this writing, Michael Kay is the predominant play by play announcer for the New York Yankees on television.  As any play by play announcer must do, Michael Kay describes the game as it happens, which makes more sense in an auditory medium like radio but is much harder to pull off in a visual medium like television and not sound like you’re out of your damn mind.  Sometimes, Michael Kay pulls it off – other times… not so much.

During fast passed plays, Michael Kay’s point by point description is easy to listen to and even helpful, but it’s when the action is limited to what’s going on between the pitcher and the catcher that things begin to go awry and Captain Obvious takes us on a trip to… well, exactly where we are in the first place.  For example, some umpires are louder than others, and Michael Kay does not adjust for this.  Some umpires are so loud that you can not only clearly see them gesture that a pitch is a strike, but here them scream, “hiiiiike!” or whatever it is they’re saying as the veins attempt to escape from their neck and spit flies from their mouths.  Still, Michael Kay will dutifully report, “Strike one,” rather than give us any other information other than what we just witnessed a mere second ago.  Maybe if, in this situation, he told us what pitch had just been delivered instead of stating the obvious, Michael Kay might have a few more fans.  Imagine an umpire just screamed, “hiiiiike!” and instead of saying “Strike one,” he said, “Four seam fastball hits the outside corner for a strike.”  I think it’d be a revelation, but for now, we’ll have to contend with the play by play report of exactly what we’re seeing.

Here are some of Michael Kay quotes I was able to dig up – some are obvious statements, others are just silly.

  • And the 3-2 count will release the runner…
  • 2 balls, 2 strikes, 2 outs, 2 on… and the pitch
  • It’s snowing in New York. But it’s not snowing in Tampa, Florida.
  • This game has been an unmanagable [length of game in hours and minutes].
  • Posada had trouble getting that weight off of his bat. They usually call that a ‘batting donut’ but that’s bigger than a donut. That’s more like a cruller.
  • This could be a double play…
  • We don’t believe in the fallacy of the pre-determined outcome.
  • You can’t presume a double play…
  • Aw that woman was just asked to be married. And she’s waving him off. Or she said yes. That’s sweet. Congratulations. They really love each other now.
  • And the [name of team] is down to their final strike.
  • Free baseball!  Bonus Cantos!
  • [name of pitcher] works into and out of trouble.
  • Deep to [outfield] – there it goes!  See ya!

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